The first week

Where to begin with this week?  

This week is the first time I taught real live students all by myself in a class.  In 3 days I feel like I have already learned so much and know I will learn a ton more about teaching, but I feel like I'm really doing it.  I'm really teaching this kids.  So far, I have been piggy backing off of my teachers lesson plans, but I actually think that has made it harder for me than easier.  I'm excited to start making my own lesson plans, and the more I get to know my students, the easier it is to think of fun ideas for them.  I feel like this past school year has been really tough on me...I did worse in my classes than I ever have before and suddenly could relate with the student who, no matter how hard they try, can not dig themselves out of this pit.  I especially felt that in my methods class, I just felt like I just could not get it, combine that with my whole inner turmoil of whether or not to teach, well it was a bad combination to say the least.  But with teaching the past couple of days, I finally feel like I can do this.  When the bell rings and I'm up in front, I get into a completely different zone and just go.  My teacher has been giving me feedback afterwards and I hear things that I can fix and do better and I'm no longer tricking myself into believing "you just won't be able to do this."  I have a purpose.  The things I learned last semester and the things I do have a purpose.

I really enjoy the class I teach also.  The first two days, they were completely silent unless I asked them a question...which in turn made me more nervous!  I kept trying to tell them "just talk! just talk! group discussion!" but they just couldn't do it.  But today, I think I broke through a bit.  Finally they were laughing with me and just talking and discussing (it's easy to get middle schoolers talking when it comes to talking about novio- boyfriends and novia-girlfriends! haha).  I just feel like a Spanish classroom should never be a silent classroom, there should be a continuous hum of activity going on, and I'm ready for my students to discover I don't mind talking- as long as it's in Spanish.  I've already got a running joke, where, as soon as they speak in English, I cover my ears and say "oh! I don't understand!  It hurts my ears to hear english" They think I'm strange, but I've never had an awesome Spanish teacher who wasn't.  

One special break through I'm excited about is one girl named Clara (not her real name).  With Mrs. J (my cooperating teacher), she's always answering questions and super helpful.  But since I've been teaching, she's been very cold and had an attitude.  In fact, yesterday she asked me how to say "flat bread" and I said "mmmm pan de....uhh...." and during my pause turned to my teacher and asked her, with me still standing there.  But, as it was Friday and I was in a particularly spritely mood, I dressed up and wore my hair down (which has a streak of purple).  She thought it was pretty cool and told me in Spanish that she liked it, and since then, we are good.  

One other thing I've realized this week is that I have a lot more energy when I'm teaching.  Maybe this won't be true when I'm teaching all the classes, but where I was coming home and crashing immediately, the past couple of nights I'm ready for whatever!  And even better, in the mornings when I was laying in bed wishing I didn't have to get up, now I jump right up and I'm ready to go.  

Fridays are good to me.